He Loves Me…He Loves Me Not

They say the color of love is red, but for over 1.5 million teens and adults that color is usually black and blue.

Domestic violence is a common issue that many people are often way too familiar with. Statistically, violent behavior starts as young as 12 years of age. The severity in any form of abuse in adolescence, whether it be physical, verbal, or silent, and almost undetectable forms like mental,and emotional abuse can lead to a life filled with constant struggle. The most common ramifications due to abuse are low self-esteem, substance abuse, depression, risky sexual behaviors, or suicide.

Okay, now that we know some of the statistics of abuse, and all that mumbo jumbo is out of the way, let’s be honest. I’ve personally never been a victim, but I know and have spoken to plenty of survivors. Well, are they considered survivors if they’re still in the relationship? Truth is most victims and their abusers usually deal with self-hate and insecurity, so even the scariest of statistics would not be enough to make them leave. They let their distorted perception of love, mixed with their negative perception of self lead them into believing that love has to hurt and that their partners abuse them due to their deep love for them. I am here to tell you that love does not hurt! Sure, it might be painful in a sense that it forces you to look within and grow soulfully, but no, it’s not supposed to hurt in a physical sense.

I know realistically that no amount of words can make any women and men leave an unhealthy relationship until they discover self-love. The most important advice I can give anyone dealing with any form of dysfunction in a relationship is to repair themselves internally first, and watch how naturally your external self will change positively as well.

As the great Robert Frost would say, “the only way out is through”. So wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are a worthy, deserving, beautiful being of light.


                                                                           P.S.: Always remember: it’s not you. It’s them.

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