Poetry sessions: Willing

I will, I can, and I did. 

If given the chance id do it all over again. 

Twice as long, three times as passionate hopefully the fourth times a charm.

He asked me would I? 

I said I will. I have before, granted in a life so long ago.

But I did and I will, forever and again. I will and I can. 

He asked if I was willing? Willing to trust, let go and let god? 

This man was flawless, angelic whispers every time he spoke. I was scared but willing?

Oh boy was I willing.

He was fulfilling, filling every gap presented by the past.

I said yes to each question, willingly flowing. Blindly going, following every move he made. 

This man was perfection. The patience of a saint. The power of a Greek god, a love all consuming, Cupid suddenly bow less in his presences. 

I can, I will, and I did. 

If given the chance I would do it all over again. 

Twice as long, three times as hard, but the fourth time wasn’t a charm. 

I asked maybe we can try? 

Another time? Lucky number five? 

But he turned his back, cold in demeanor.

“What if by the sixth time I was no longer alive? I love you but I choose I.

I choose me.” He whispered.

I broke down, soul aching at his words, but my mind nudged to me.

“Your fear of love leads down these lonely streets. It’s time for change, take the heart ache and rearrange your repetitive streak.”

I closed my eyes after a week of sleepless nights. I took a deep breath as I released every ball and chain engraved in my being. I never got that fifth chance, but given a chance, I would have never let go of the first.

When I look up I still see my sweet lesson filled soulmate.

In the clouds, in my third eye, in the warmth of the sun glistening down upon my caramel skin. 

If given another chance I wouldn’t know where to begin. 

Maybe with a smile, maybe with a grin. 

Maybe with a tear at the regret of losing him. 

I take with me every laugh, every hug, every passionate night. 

When the world disappoints me, I’ll always keep in my minds eye.

The lessons my soulmate taught me. 

I can, I did, and I will. 

And if given another chance I would have made him less of a lesson, and more of a husband. 

God bless him. 

P.S. Someone challenged me to freestyle a poem with the word “WILLING.”

this is what I came up with on the spot, raw and unedited.

This poem goes out to every person who has lost a potential love, due to intimacy issues, and fear of commitment. May our future selves be willing to love unconditionally. 

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